Killer Instinct and Criminal Minds vs. The Night Stalker. (2005 Fall Premieres)

Beneath the thin layer of forensic technobabble and buddy-cop banter that most procedural crime shows ostensibly revolve around, there lies a nasty, insatiable appetite for images of mutilated bodies and terrified women. Why watch that when you can watch Gabrielle Union instead?

Films I didn’t want to watch: The Passion of the Christ.

The parts of The Passion of the Christ that didn’t make me roll my eyes in irritation or close them in sleepy boredom made me avert them in disgust, and those parts made up a distressingly large portion of the movie.