I’ve been forgetting to put up my New Year’s resolutions, and we’re nearly three weeks into 2009, which means that if punctuality was one of said resolutions, then I would have already broken it. Luckily, I know better than to reach for the completely unreasonable — the feeling of disappointment at year’s end is much more satisfying when you look back and know that the resolutions you broke were entirely achievable.

Anyway, this year’s resolutions are short and to the point, and two of them aren’t really even resolutions so much as to-do items:

  • Buy a couch, no matter how much my credit cards groan under the strain.
  • Get a damn haircut already, because I was never supposed to be Pony Tail Guy.
  • Stop biting my fingernails. (I’ve been doing well on this one so far, although I have caught myself gnawing on them from time to time, which is actually grosser than just biting them off.)

And then there are the secret resolutions, the ones that we all make and don’t share with anyone. I will not be sharing mine with you here. Actually, the one I made this year is so high-concept and vaguely theological that I don’t quite understand it myself, much less have any idea of how I’m going to keep it. I think that’s a sign that I should add one more resolution to my list:

  • Spend less time inside my own head.