I used to have a full head of thick, black hair. Others envied it, but I could never figure out how to get it under control. When it got so unruly that it started pushing my hat up off of my head, I lost patience and shaved it off completely. This was more than ten years ago, when shaving your head was a pretty easy way to confuse and horrify your friends and family, especially when, due to lifelong covering by the aforementioned thick, black hair, your newly-exposed scalp comes up looking like some blue-green alien head. After the pallor and the novelty wore off, though, I kept shaving my head (or at least taking clippers to it), because it seemed easier than having to deal with letting it grow back in and taking care of it afterwards.

Nowadays, though, it seems like every other guy out there shaves his head on a regular basis to hide his receding hairline. This galls me: It used to be that head-shaving was reserved for neo-nazis, Michael Jordan wannabes, and Michael Stipe wannabes. Now, it’s just a little more tasteful than combovers. It’s gotten to the point where I actually find myself wanting to grow my hair out again just to separate myself from the Male Pattern Baldness crowd. The way I figure it, I should appreciate my hair while I still have it, even if that means having to go out and buy a comb, or even, heaven help us, gel.

I don’t know. Gel, yeesh. Would I even look good with hair? Who can say? I might as well find out: I’m going to see how long I can let my hair grow before I lose patience and shave it all off again. It’ll probably be about two weeks. In the meantime, does anyone have any hat recommendations?