I threw a party the other night. I don’t do it very often, but I figured that the only way that I would get any spring cleaning done was under the threat of shame and humiliation at letting guests into my filthy apartment. So I cleaned, and then I had folks over for drinks. Here are a few things I plan on keeping in mind the next time I invite people into my home:

Get more seating: It wasn’t until people started showing up that I realized that I didn’t have enough chairs to seat everyone I had invited. On top of that, my invitation encouraged additional guests. Whoever ended up sitting on the plastic storage bin, um, yeah, sorry about that.

Buy better speakers: I usually have headphones on when I listen to music, so the only stereo speakers I have are a tinny pair that came with an old computer. I actually put a little effort into assembling a nice shuffleable playlist to put on my iPod during the party, but you couldn’t really tell from the all-midrange sound that was coming out of those lousy speakers.

Buy a corkscrew: This was just embarrassing. I swear, I used to have one, but I have no idea where it went. I did learn a neat trick involving a wood screw and a claw hammer, but honestly, how friggin’ lame is it to not own a corkscrew? Almost derailed the whole evening before it began. There’s nothing worse than being taunted by a full bottle of wine.

Basically, the lesson is that one of these days, I should really start living like a grownup and not like a college student. At least the apartment is clean now.