For the first time in 22 years, the Portland Trail Blazers will not be participating in the NBA playoffs. To put it in perspective, the last time the Blazers missed the playoffs, I was six years old, and backup point guard Omar Cook was only a few months old. Carmelo Anthony, whose Denver Nuggets will be going to the show in the Blazers’ place, wasn’t even a twinkle in his parents’ eye.

Now I have the unfamiliar sensation of actually caring about the draft lottery, another institution that’s younger than the Blazers’ broken playoff streak. Here’s hoping for a nice toss of the ping-pong balls. Oh, and there are apparently some other teams playing for some rings or something, but who really cares about that? I’ve got some moping to do.