I’m back from my “vacation” in Portland, and in dire need of some recovery time. Preferably time that includes as few modes of transportation as possible.

While watching my semi-annual dosage of television over the last few days — time mostly spent trying watching reruns of one of a dozen different Scooby Doo series — I made the following observations:

  • Cel-shaded CG cartoons are just plain weird. Using a technique that makes computer imagery look more like cartoons in order to make cartoons that look high-tech is way too much aesthetic ping-pong for my brain to deal with.
  • Sports shows that consist solely of a few sports writers yelling over each other about whether or not subject X is “good for the game” do not make for satisfying television.
  • The little text cards before and after commercials on Adult Swim are more fun than most of the shows.
  • If TNN is the First Network For Men, then — urrghrungh, I can’t even come up with a coherent thought about what a lousy idea this is.
  • I was sad to see that the Xena crew met the same fate as Buffy. Instead of just remaining content with their status as icons of postfeminist empowerment, they started listening to all the people who held them up as icons of postfeminist empowerment. Taking yourself too seriously and replacing good-humored kitsch with dreary, shallow allegory is an awfully effective way to suck all the fun out of a show. (I know, I’m way late on this one.)
  • It’s good to see that MTV actually does show videos once in a while. Too bad they all suck.
  • No matter how much I try, I just don’t like football very much. Football preview shows that look and sound like a WWII documentary don’t help the matter at all.
  • I don’t care if it is the Super Bowl of bass fishing. No one should be that excited about catching a fish.
  • I’m still not convinced that FX airs anything other than MASH reruns.
  • Snoop Dogg really doesn’t need his own TV show. Especially a sketch comedy show.
  • Cable news is complete and utter ass. Except for the Weather Channel.
  • Warner Bros. can stop milking the DC universe any day now. Batman was enough, thanks. (Unless they make a good Green Lantern show; in that case, all is forgiven.)
  • Going back a bit on the above point, the opening title sequence to Teen Titans is k-rad. Visuals inspired by Saul Bass and a spy-show theme performed by a Shonen Knife soundalike are pretty much a direct channel to my heart.
  • If I tried to guess which channel would air a 20th anniversary celebration for Hooters, I have to say that VH1 would be pretty low on the list.
  • You can only watch Sportscenter so many times in a single day. They should just give in and launch a separate ESPN Headline News channel.